Self-indulgent musings of a social retard.

I obviously have issues. I'm a conspiracy theorist. Untrusting. Cynical. Is there any wonder why I'm single? He wrote me back today - April Fool's Day. Is this significant? Rationally, I doubt it, but god knows I'm rarely if ever rational, so of course in my demented mind, I think he's up to something.

Okay, here's the rundown. He writes me out of the blue after five years. I respond. He waits three days to write back, and indicates he's available to see me that same evening(?!!) What gives? Here's what he wrote, referencing parts of my email to him:

<< XXX is really well. She's nine years old. Remember seeing her in the

hospital the day after she was born? >>

Yep. I remember picking her up at the Haight Ashbury Free Clinic, taking her

back to your place on the bus, too. She cried her eyes out all day, and you

came home and were like, you've been torturing my baby! Oh shit. I'm chuckling now; it's great that she's doing well.

<< Now don't we feel old? Hope all is well with you. All my contact info.

is the same if you wanna call. >>

Nah, I don't feel old, feeling pretty good these days.

I'm in the Mission my neighborhood - j on Sundays, taking the Challenging White Supremacy workshop, which means I'm busy 3-8:30pm, so if you wanted to meet and chat on either

side of that. Actually, I expect I'm gonna go to the Mission Cultural Center

tonight, 6pm, for the kickoff town hall meeting for Books Not Bars's Alternatives for Youth campaign. So either way or none of these ways, let's talk soon; I'll give you a call. My info below.

Aaron

510-XXX-XX31 cell

510-XXX-XX17 home

I know I'm not going to see him tonight - just because I don't like the idea of being so readily available.

I really need to get my shit together, and learn to take things at face value. I want to learn to find the balance between not being so afraid, and suspicious of everything and protecting myself. How do people do that?

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