Self-indulgent musings of a social retard.

I answered a personal ad once. It was almost two years ago, a few months after the Jamie disaster.

I was in the breakroom at lunch with some co-workers. We were reading the ads aloud from one of the free weeklies. One of my co-workers came across one and said "Oh my God! This one's perfect for you!" She read it, and it sounded pretty good: a civil rights attorney, my age, likes to travel, blah, blah, blah. Cool.

So I decided to e-mail him.

We exchanged e-mail a few times, and I gave him my phone number. We talked a few times, really hit it off. When I told him where I work, he almost came right then and there. His dream job. We never made concrete plans to meet though, because he called me a week or so later to tell me that he had gotten an amazing number of respondents to his ad, and had met someone he wanted to begin a relationship with...but he really likes me, and maybe we could meet for coffee or something, anyway? I said "No, that's okay. We don't have to meet."

That was kind of it. Or so I thought. A couple of months later, my organization was had an event. I didn't go. Turns out he went. He gave one of my co-workers one of his business cards with a note to me on the back. Hmm. I thought that was odd, like maybe he went looking for me. But maybe not. Whatever. I called him at the number on the card, and said sorry I missed you, blah, blah, blah.

That was kind of it. Or so I thought. We soon had a vacancy at my organization, and I guess he was pretty desperate for the gig. So desperate, he e-mailed me to ask me to put in a good word for him. I called him and told him I couldn't since I didn't really know him. He was really short with me, and I thought I'd never hear from him again (he wasn't offered an interview.)

Wrong. He (through various maneuverings) managed to get onto our Board of Directors, even though he'd had no real connection. Whatever.

So the point is, I see him ALL the freaking time now. Just last night, even. And maybe I'm projecting, but he seems kind of hostile towards me. And I think he's relieved he never went out with me. I've managed to disappoint even this jerk.

So my friend C told me that she's placed a personal ad on a popular web site.

I went there, typed in who I am, and guess what? NO ONE was looking for someone like me. Jesus. Thinking of the literally thousands of people out there who don't want me is depressing beyond belief.

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